Saturday, May 3, 2008

it is hot in india.

it's here.
it's official.
the fun is over.

the single most dreaded word in subcontinental english is...


there is always an up side...

knuckleduster's list of the 5 best things about summer in india.

1. it's borderline acceptable to wear linen pajamas on all occasions.
we do ask that you show some restraint.

2. the sense of satisfaction we all feel if
we actually accomplish something that requires going outside.

3. the flipside to #2.

it is a perfectly reasonable excuse to accomplish nothing at all.

no one will argue.

everyone will just nod and look away,
too hot to contribute more...

4. the word sultry.

today's forecast...

"a warm clear sky on a dry and sultry day.
the night will be warm and uncomfortable if there is a power cut."

not burning, blazing, baking, scorching,
blistering, searing, sizzling, broiling, scalding,
or even hot...


i wish they would take it a step further...

"the air today will be moist and full of virility.
this evening will bring a delicious mixture of both sweet and salt,
with the possible notion of a vigorous drizzle.
bring your rubbers."

a bit creepy but a morale booster nonetheless.

which brings me to #5....

5. whereas the rest of the year it is a bit of a turn-off...

during the summer,

you're expected to sweat profusely during sex.

i know this seems like an unusual show of optimism coming from canepari
but don't you worry,
another list will follow soon enough.

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